Friday, May 9, 2014

Big Post of Feels and Projects

UGH- a month! It's been a month since I blogged! That is no way to run a railroad. I have been doing stuff though! Well mostly thinking, a little shop re-arranging, some dream making happening...

Okay let's run through what I've been doing. The catalyst was my 40th birthday at the start of April and surprisingly, that bought out a lot more stuff than I thought it would. Really, serious life questions. I didn't think turning 40 would be a big deal cause I usually don't go for all that society stuff. I don't think turning 40 was bad, just... a benchmark, I guess. Anyway most of it was down to the antique centre my dad and brother took me to, and how they had a ton of super awesome stuff I wanted to buy, but couldn't, because I don't have a real house to put it in and probably won't any time soon cause I was saving my life and money to go to England.


awesome things at local antique center - reminds me of my first 'proper' house back in the mid 90s

Some hard thinking later, I am no longer going to England. Shortest version of that story; I want a house, I want to get on with developing my career and I don't have the $14k required to go to England. That's fourteen thousand dollars. You can do a lot with that kind of money, and while happiness is important, I would rather go to England as an established person who has her life sorted out, not as someone who is hoping 3 months in England will sort the life out for her. So England is now about 4-5 years away.

Making this decision changed everything. Everything. My whole outlook has changed. I really had no idea how depressing day to day life had become, to not be able to buy household goods and furnishings, and to have to save every dollar I could spare (and that ain't a lot). I didn't actually realise being able to buy household goods was that important to me (though I know I'm a huge fan), but if I can go to an antique centre and be close to tears because 'I want that cupboard', that's got to mean something. And it does; the homes we live in must be comfortable and beautiful and reflect our own passions and aesthetics. The home is the spiritual center of a modern person, it is our comfort and our refuge. The home has always been important to me, and I haven't had a proper one for almost 3 years now.


 vintage bells - listed and sold

Also I'm 40 now.

7 comments:

willowstudio said... Best Blogger Tips

Sounds like an excellent 40th b-day to me. Decisions can be ever so helpful, eh?
Happy Birthday Ms. Neil, and many happy returns.
j

brenda Salzano said... Best Blogger Tips

As I perused the line of blogs to read this morning, yours was the only one that jumped out to me. I find I am on a very similar road of change. I have also been slowly getting out of making and selling jewelry. The market is so huge I am lost in that, plus I have no passion for it now. I am also wanting to move and your description of how tight money is and how it affects our creativity and visions of where we want to live and grow is exactly how I feel. Plus at 62 I have gotten alopecia and for a women that is hard! But as you end your post I see the hope and good outlook you have set your mind on, and I have too. This is what will divide those who are successful and those who quit. You will be all that you have set your mind too , just have to take some different paths to it!! Me too. I am selling my home for far less than I needed too but the future depends on me having faith and not loosing my dream and hope for where I want to be. So as a fellow artist, craftsmen etc Cheers and Congrats on your changes for the better!! ;-)

Vintajia Adornments said... Best Blogger Tips

Having your life on hold and waiting is very destructive. Bravo for grabbing hold of life and steering it in the direction you wish to go. And happy Happy Birthday as well!

Ellen said... Best Blogger Tips

Thank you so much for a "real" and truthful blog, so many are not.
My life is also going through a huge change at the moment as after very unexpected surgery in December to remove a malignant tumour, I am now "set aside" from all my usual activities, art groups etc. and have really been re-evaluating everything I have been doing and just what it is that is the most important to me, after family and friends of course.
As I think, and pray, I work in the garden...when I have some energy and being so connected to the outdoors is just therapy for me and somehow frees my spirit to really soar and with it comes the truth of who I am.
I am 67, an artist mainly working in textiles, I used to be an antique seller years ago, and had a 3 year "business" on ebay selling antique lace and textiles....I wouldn't go back to that, so am managing on little money but glorying in being free.
I don't know what the future holds, but it's good...and I am positive, and praise God my creativity has returned after a 4 month absence.
Thank you again....it has encouraged me to read your truthful blog, I haven't been on mine for ages..it is called Fragments...Ellen Devall.blogspot ( I think!)
My blogger email is not working, so here is one you can rech me at, if you would like to reply;
ellen_rivett@hotmail.com
Bless you,
Ellen in a caravan in the UK x

Ellen said... Best Blogger Tips

Ps.
I forgot to say that it is the 6 months of gruelling chemotherapy that has "set me aside".
Ellen.

Ellen said... Best Blogger Tips

ps.
I forgot to add that it is the 6 months of chemotherapy that has "set me aside".
Ellen.

Lucie said... Best Blogger Tips

Happy belated birthday Penelope!!! This benchmark seems very constructive, bravo for all the decisions! The feeling of waiting or being passive is a nasty one, I'm glad you're over that. And bravo for the position of Captain AND the photography shop. All this is promising, keep going!